Personal: Twenty Fifth

Although I know that I cannot really escape it, I was very hesitant on turning 25. There were a lot of things that were pressuring me and I didn't know if I had the courage to face them given that there would be another year added to my life. 

Few things I've learned throughout twenty five years of existing.

1. When there is no one else, look up.

It is very important to have God in your life. I have failed so many times before, and on every failure, it was Him who helped me get back up. I know that He knows my heart more than I know it, and it makes it easier for me to talk to Him. The power of prayer has amazed me so many times; even during those times I didn't deserve it. I am not afraid to tell the world how prayerful I am, because why would I be ashamed to have a relationship with God?

2. There are people who don't want to see you succeed just because they want to have a life better than yours.

...or at least make believe that their life is better than yours. There are a lot of times when I've witnessed people trying to pull me down. It used to matter a lot, but right now, it just doesn't. I have finally accepted the fact that I cannot please everyone. Yes, I had a hard time accepting this. I have this thing where I like adjusting myself just for these people to "like" me. No, not anymore. As long as I don't do you any harm, I'm good. If you still try to pull me down, go ahead and try.

3. The older you get, the lesser friends you have.

I'm not saying you'll lose the friends you had. Maybe some, but not all. What I mean is that you'll be needing just the real ones, and the ones who actually want to be your friend. We will all have different paths, and so we all have to understand that there will be differences in our relationships. I remember my best friend telling me that if they are your real friends, you wouldn't have to beg. True. Your real friends will always be there, no matter what.

4. People forgive.

So maybe I can't speak for everyone. I have a friend who has a really hard time in forgiving. Then again, most people do. People move on, and even when the person who has hurt them does not say sorry, with time, they get to forgive. Along with this, I have also learned the importance of asking for forgiveness. Asking for forgiveness and forgiving give a person so much peace. 

5. Finding the right one isn't hard, especially if you try to be the right one as well.

I know, I sound so in love. I am, that's why. But honestly, seeing my friends in relationships that are actually for keeps, this is so true. I believe that we've all been in a state where we expect a lot from our partners but do not really realize that maybe there was also something missing in us as partners. Maybe we weren't being the "right one" for them too. Maybe we were too demanding, too sweet, too kind, too everything. Too much of everything can actually be too bad. I'm glad to finally be with someone who is right for me. Someone who is right for my insanity, my negativity, and at the same time, right for my sanity. 

I only had a simple birthday dinner with my family this year.

Here are a few snaps from that night.

Personal: Life Lately...

Just so you could decide as early as now whether to read this entry or not, I am letting you know that this is going to be a long one.

I included this night in this entry because it means a lot to me that my partner's family want me to be there on their special occasions; even without him around. The fact that they want me around, whether he's here or not is very new to me. The first time I was introduced as the one na "nililigawan", I was very nervous because I've had a pretty bad experience with meet-the-parents situations. Since then up to now, warm welcomes and love are the only things I feel. I can and will never forget how his mom told me, "You're my daughter now." I now have two mommies. She even told me stories of how they knew he was in love with me ever since. ♡

Above photos were taken October 5, 2015 at Shakeys Katipunan in celebration of Papa Rudy's birthday.

Photos taken at Ilang-Ilang Cafe, Manila Hotel

Celebrating my grandmother's birthday will always be more than just good food. I love seeing her happy. I may not be able to give the greatest gift, but I will always be present for her. My grandma is very simple but at the same time, she deserves the best things in life. I admire how she can be honest all the time. I love how she handles her children. I love her.

Photo taken at Cafe Adriatico, Adriatico Arms Hotel

Yes, my mom's birthday is on November 1. I remember her telling me that she never got to experience being sung a happy birthday song in class. Regardless, she embraces the fact that her birthday was and will always be a holiday. 

She chose to celebrate her birthday dinner here so we could eat their special Baked Chicken, which, unfortunately, does not have a photo. When we come back, I'll make sure I get to take a photo of their food because they are oh, so good.

Now, for the most exciting part (at least for me). To date, I haven't been smoking cigarettes for one month and eight days now. Yes, I cheated. I quit smoking not by cold turkey, but by vaping. I am not going to turn this entry into VAPE 101, so if you're against it, don't do it. If you think it's worse than smoking, please send me links to read. Make sure they're legit. If you think that I'm doing this to be cool, no. 

Yes, I do have two of these. I bought the pink one for myself, and Rab got me the other one. It's unreasonable to keep both, but I'm sentimental like that. I didn't want to have another one - he wanted so badly to get me this one because it's better than the starter kit that I had. If you ask me, yes, I still use both.

So, has my life been better since?

• Yes, because I've had way less headaches than I used to. I used to smoke a pack a day, sometimes even more than one. No wonder I get headaches a lot.
• Yes, because my hyper acidity has not been bugging me since.
• Yes, because I don't smell like cigarette smoke anymore. My hands smell good all the time. My hair, my clothes, everything.
• Yes, because I don't pant that much anymore. Much much less panting. Honestly and sincerely.
• Yes, because my skin doesn't feel sticky anymore.
• Yes, because my bathroom does not have cigarette ashes on the floor and does not smell bad anymore.
• Yes, because I don't go crazy when I don't have cigarettes on hand.

Investment wise, of course vaping could be more expensive. But once you have settled for the perfect mod and tank, your maintenance would just be juice, cotton and wires. There's a lot more to discuss but I might just put it in a different entry.

You are still the best part of my day. ♡