Over a Month of Whatever

© Compiled the words on Photoshop

I ended my Nexus career last June 30 and I don't think I've ever felt this relieved. Don't get me wrong, I loved working there for quite some time. I think I just reached the point where I realized that there are other things that I'm good at. Besides, I'm pretty sure they didn't need me there. There are other people who deserve that job more than I do.

So it's been over a month now and the words above are somehow the summary of how I've been. I cannot dig deeper for I won't be able to write sane things. Nevertheless, I think I can consider the past month as one of the most exciting months of my life.

Being unemployed and having weekends as my workdays is not really as easy as I thought it would be. There are really days where I have nothing to do. It's good that we have the fishball cart, but it's not enough. Given all my idle time, I can't really avoid to think about anything and everything. It's like I've been given a free retreat but with no supervision by the priests or nuns or retreat masters.

I once read that looking over your life and reflecting about the things you've done so far is a very important task. We often take a lot of things for granted and don't always notice that we're doing it. After a month of whatever, I feel like I've been blessed with time to actually see the things I've done wrong, see the things I've done right, and understand where I should go. Okay, so don't get me wrong. I fully understand everything that's happening to my life right now, and I even know how to fix some broken parts of it. But just as everybody else, I'm only human. Most people would say I'm strong; but most people don't know how I really feel inside. As a flawed human, I sometimes cannot put into words the thoughts and feelings I have inside. I tend to say things that don't really compliment to what I actually feel, so people can really say that I am strong. I don't really blame them if they think I am. Having said that, let me just remind you of a saying that we all know:

Everything is easier said than done.

Okay, so you can shoot right back at me. You can tell me, "Everything is easier said than done. Wanting something is easy. Saying something is easy. The challenge and the reward are in the doing." -- yes, I am fully aware of that too. But how do we really start the "doing" part?

I came across this very interesting quotation on Google, and allow me to share it to you.

As mentioned above, quote is from GOOGLE but I made this on PS

Then it hit me. Which one of the two has actually happened to you, that you started doing? That you started changing? If you ask me, I won't lie. I would go for number 2; that I've been hurt enough that I have to. If you're curious, yes. I believe I've changed. A lot.

If you know me personally, you would know the change that has occurred in me, but I don't know if you're gonna be happy about it or not. Again, some can say that I've finally become tenacious, some can be proud that I've learned to think about myself, some can say I've changed for the worse, and some can say I've changed into the person I used to hate. There will be a lot of words that will be coming out of different people. There will be a lot of unsupported opinions, but I think I have the right to say that it's  hard when you really haven't gone through the things I have and if you have, we are still different people. I will still insist that things are so much easier said than done. I understand that I may have to face more difficult situations if I don't start/stop, but I believe I still have a lot of discerning to do.

Why?

Why am I really wasting your time right now? Why am I writing this entry? Well, it's simple. If I were to be asked to compare myself to one thing, I'd say I'm crap. Yes, that's right. Shit. Defecation. Not that I'm smelly (oh dear God I hope not. I do not spend a long time in the bathroom cleaning myself just to smell like shit), but because I feel like shit. One day, I'm in someone's life, and then the next day just feel like he/she doesn't need me anymore so he/she decides to just get me out of his/her system. When the time comes that he/she feels very bloated, he/she will come begging for more shit but not really to keep it inside but once again, make him/her feel good. And then there's another side to it. I feel like shit for having treated some people differently just because I am realizing a lot of things.

 

s'il vous plaît aidez-moi savoir la bonne chose
je me sens quelque chose de si bon de faire les mauvaises choses

Fifty Seven & Counting

August 5, 2014

My dad's 57th birthday

Kainan sa Tabing Lawa, Tanay, Rizal

Yes, we drove all the way from QC to Tanay, Rizal just to be able to eat at this restaurant. We love this restaurant because their food is great. Their food is so great it makes us travel that far just for lunch. 

I am my daddy's favorite girl therefore when I suggested to drive to Tanay for his birthday lunch, he had no choice but say yes (well, it's not as if he didn't want to though). I'm happy I got to be with my dad on his birthday and I'm happy he has lived another year. May he have more birthdays to come!

We've been going to this place since I was a kid. Probably around the 90s. Personally, the only food I eat in this place is dalag. The food they serve are all damn good but I really just love the mudfish. 

Dalag / mudfish

A mudfish is a kind of fresh-water fish and is known for its delicious taste that is familiar with lapu-lapu and dalagang bukid ( source: Wikipedia )

iPhone 5S shot of one of the 5 dalags we ordered (this one's with egg! :D)

I'm disappointed I wasn't able to take photos of the whole restaurant. The next time I visit there, I'll make sure I have my camera with me and I'll take more photos so I can blog about it better.